I've had a gazillion years of therapy and figured that this course would be pretty easy for me. What a shock it was to my system when feelings started coming up that I never knew I had.
I have cried a lot during this course but at the same time I have lowered some of my defenses. I feel more deeply then I did before. I am more open to love. And I am more open to pain. That might sound like a bad thing but when you swallow so much pain through your life, it actually feels pretty good to be able to feel it, deal with and then let it go.
I've been depressed during this course and have spent too many hours in bed. But I've also felt lighter now that some of this pain that I've hidden from is finally coming to the surface.
And you know what's really great? The leader of this amazing course.
Stephanie is such a wonderful, loving woman. She's like a bright light shining in a room full of deep, dark secrets.. She's a person you dont mind spilling your soul in front of. You know that when you're hurting she will be there to wrap her cyber arms around you and make you feel that you're okay. She helps you feel loved and perfect just the way you are instead of broken. I've never met her personally or talked to her on the phone but I know she is the type of woman I would be honored to have as a personal friend.
Here's the link to her course:
Now, for my journal pages. I warn you, they are straight from my soul and filled with sadness and anger. There is foul language in the one and I dont use that type of language. But there were no other words to get my anger across onto the page.
Here we go....
This is the front cover of my journal for this course
This is the back cover
This is the inside cover and my intentions I have while working through the course
The next page with my motto
This is a two page spread of the things I'm afraid of. You can always click on it to see the larger version.
Another page about Fear.
How do you like the zipper around the eye?
I made these pages with the song Bohemium Rhapsody playing through my mind.
This is a two page spread about childhood wounds. I printed off a black and white picture of myself as a little girl and painted it in with water colors and acrylics The watering can is attached with brads and glue.
These are just close ups of the above spread.
This spread is another one about childhood wounds.
As I was working on the second page the emotions took over and I let it all out.
This is just a page as a response to the previous pages. My own question to myself
This past week we were to do a page of a memory. Not the worst memory but not the best one .Inside the envelope there will be a letter that I write to the little girl I used to be.
There you go. A look into my mind.
Now we are all caught up.
I hope you all have a wonderful evening full of love and laughter.